Obituary of Donald I. Wexler

Our beloved husband, dad, poppa, father-in-law, and friend Donald I. Wexler passed away on July 24, 2016 after a long illness. Don, aka Donnie, Big Don, BFDW, Big Poppa Don and Harry, lived a monumental life fit for a monumental man. His sometime gruff exterior masked the humor, compassion and loyalty for which he was known and loved. Teenage friends visiting his four children feared him, but as they grew older Don became a favorite drinking buddy, and subject of the common refrain, "I love your Dad." We all did. He was born to the late Leon and Ruth Wexler on June 5, 1937 in Brooklyn, NY and raised in a house his contractor father built on Waverly Place in Schenectady, NY. After losing his father at the age of four, Don was raised by his mother and great uncle Marvin Friedman, founder and proprietor of the renowned Van Dyck Restaurant in the Stockade. He attended Oneida School and Nott Terrace High School in Schenectady before graduating high school from the Manlius Academy in Manlius, NY. He earned an on-the-job education in the hospitality industry having grown up in the restaurant business, to which he added a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management from Michigan State University. Upon graduation from MSU he ran the food service departments at Maryknoll Seminary in Ossining, NY and Marymount College in Arlington, VA. He returned to Schenectady in 1966 to run former nightclub and restaurant, the Jamaica Inn on Troy-Schenectady Road. In tow were his wife, Margaret Seymour Wexler, daughters Donna, Elizabeth and Deborah, and son and "mini-me", Geoffrey. He devoted his life to his wife and children. They were the source of his greatest pride and endless love. Don and Margaret, his cherished wife and partner in life for 57 years, created a happy, hectic home for the family filled with love, support, adventures and ceaseless laughter. If Don wasn't expressing his dry humor one of his kids was, and Margaret was laughing until she cried. Those very happy memories will live on in the family forever, and they continue to find humor in everything…as Don would have wanted. Don joined his Uncle Marvin and mother to run the Van Dyck in 1974 and began booking the musical acts that would make the spot the premiere jazz club in Upstate NY for two decades. Many members of his staff at both the Jamaica Inn and the Van Dyck stayed with him for years and called him a friend and great supporter, as did many of his devoted customers who have remained friends to this day. His kids were raised in the restaurant business just as he had been, and learned the value of hard work, commitment, service and hospitality by his example and their mother's, who helped in all areas of the business. It was truly a family affair until the restaurant closed in 1994. Don went on to hold a variety of jobs for fun and spending money to fuel his passion for "collecting" things that caught his eye: like carved wooden canes, pipes, hats, watches, Tommy Bahama shirts and more. He loved shopping - making sure to learn how to shop online as he slowed down -- and the thrill of a good bargain. He passed his passion on to daughters Donna and Deborah and delighted in reviewing their purchases when they returned from their latest spree. He also passed on a love of dogs, and had several "babies" through the years that he has now joined in heaven. In retirement Don and Margaret enjoyed visiting their children and grandchildren, taking day trips, relaxing at Lake George, listening to jazz at Tanglewood, going on outings with friends, having the kids home, and bickering with one another. Their repartee made great fodder for one-liners and funny stories at many family gatherings. Bickering aside, the love and devotion Don and Margaret had for one another is an example their kids and grandchildren seek to emulate. In the last week of his life Don had the great fortune of meeting his first great grandchild, 10-month-old Leonardo Holzapfel, son of granddaughter Ashley Forth Holzapfel and her husband Matt Holzapfel. Don was surrounded in his last days by his devoted family who were able to share with him their gratitude and love: Margaret; daughter Donna Wexler and her husband Brad Palkovic of Longmeadow, MA; daughter Elizabeth Forth of Alameda, CA; daughter Deborah Wexler of Louisville, KY; son Geoff Wexler and his wife Ann of Hampton, NJ; granddaughter Ashley Forth Holzapfel and great grandson Leonardo Holzapfel of Windsor, CO; and, grandson Nicholas Forth of Boston, MA. There with him in spirit were: grandson Wil Wex Palkovic; "adopted" daughters-in-law Shelley Palkovic and Stephanie Walsh; step granddaughters Abigail, Rachael and Katherine Nutt and their father John Nutt; grandson-in-law Matt Holzapfel; lunch buddies Bob Abbey and Reon Bowen, and countless friends. He is predeceased by his parents, aunts and uncles and son-in-law Robert Forth. Don was loved by so many. He brightened our lives every day, made us feel loved and supported and able to do anything. His distinct voice, dry humor and infectious laughter will live in us forever along with the countless memories we hold of having this great man in our lives. We will miss him forever but know that someday we will all be together again. The family wishes to give special thanks to Dr. William Busino, Dr. Shailesh Patel, and Dr. Joseph Choma for their care of Don through the years. They also want to express their endless gratitude to the very professional, kind, caring and dedicated staff at Ellis Hospital's Intensive Care and C-1 units who cared for Don in his last days. A private service will be held at the convenience of the family. A celebration of Don's life and his love of jazz, the Stockade, and great parties with family and friends will be held Thursday, July 28 from 5:30-8 pm at the Stockade Inn. All friends of Don and his family are invited to attend. Those wishing to remember Don in a special way may make a donation to their favorite charity in his memory.